Ever wonder if you’re going wrong with your texts? These ten rules could help set your texting behavior straight, especially when it comes to dealing with dudes:
1. Thou Shalt Not Drink and Text
You think it’s better than a drunk dial, that you’re being all coy and witty. We know better. Drunk texting doesn’t put you at an advantage—it takes away your leverage.
2. Thou Shalt Not Play (Word) Games
We’re not talking about wordplay, we’re talking about pretending you didn’t get the text or ignoring them, or letting people see them who you know should not; it’s immature and just plain mean.
3. Thou Shalt Not Get Into It
Text is not the forum for conveying serious, or nuanced information. Don’t get into a debate about the relationship over text. Don’t ask us to explain ourselves over text. Don’t ask us where we think this thing is going over text. Bad idea. Be real. Have those conversations in person.
4. Thou Shalt Not Sext
The Internet is a big place. And it’s going to be around for a long time. And it’s full of perverts. There will be fallout. And potentially super-unpleasant days for your dad at work.
5. Thou Shalt Not Break Up Over Text
If you ever think that ending things over a text message is warranted, or acceptable, you should probably be spending less time with your phone and more with books, specifically Emily Post.
6. Thy Texts Shall Have A Point
“I am watching a show about Komodo dragons” is not useful information. It is a waste of precious binary code. And if the recipient doesn’t have some kind of unlimited plan, a waste of money, too. Unless, however, he happens to be really into Komodo dragons.
7. Thy Shalt Not Leave Out Essential Details
“I’m on my way,” is a very different text than “I’m on my way with my parents and my brother who loves ninjas.” The latter prepares us, and allows us to down a few martinis, or escape. The former makes us really happy, and then destroys that happiness as we try to smile during your sibling’s discussion of the bo staff versus the katana blade.
8. If Thy Texts Fall Out Of Rhythm, Thou Shall Not Expect Dancing
Everyone has a texting rhythm. If you’re used to him replying within the hour, you can’t freakout when he doesn’t get back to you in 15 minutes. If you’re both used to responses within 10 minutes, he can’t whine if you don’t respond in 5. If you’re used to him replying right away, all the time, well, be prepared for some fights.
9. Thou Shall Receive What Thou Dish Out
Texting is, in many ways, no different than conversation. If you’re rude, you can’t take exception to a guy being rude back. Same goes for you being flouncy, aggressive or vulgar.
10. Thou Shalt Observe Thy Surroundings
This only has so much to do with guys. If you’re having a nice date, or chill conversation, maybe it’s not the best time to text your friends. If you’re in a movie, it can be distracting for other people in the theater. If you’re driving, it’s just plain dangerous.