Gangsta Cat Needs A Homie Fo' Life

This flyer was found in Astoria, Queens.

I cannot with some people LOL. Read what was written on the flyer after the jump...

I may not look like it, but I am one badass mother f*cker. I only accept petting when I feel like it. If you try to pet me when I'm not in the mood, I will hiss at a bitch. Because f*ck you, I do what I want. You would too if you had it rough like me. My punk ass family abandoned me outside in subzero degree weather in a cat carrier, and then the animal shelter that was supposed to find me a home sent me to death row. I was saved by a nice cat rescue and am now kicking it at my foster home. But no one will adopt me because whenever I meet new people and they pet me, I hiss at them. I'm also old as hell (9 years). In cat years that's way too old for any of this bullsh*t, so you'll just have to understand why I'm a cranky old man. Not cuddly enough for you? Then move along, son. There must be someone in all of New York who will appreciate a badass (and okay, sometimes sweet) cat who does not give a f*ck. Call my foster mom Rose at 646-XXX-XXXX if you want me to grace your couch with my little orange nutsack. Peace.

Can you imagine? Hahaha

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